There can be lots of pressure to get your ‘self-care ‘right and this can feel like you are expected to make sure you always feel good. It’s tiring looking after yourself and facing lots of changes. Just remember you are not alone, lots of students feel homesick. You might be in your 4th year and have a sudden wave of homesickness and that’s ok. There is no right or wrong way to experience it, or a time limit on how long you can feel it for. It feels awful and can be really tiring, but it is a completely legitimate way to feel. Talk to old friends now and then, bring some familiar comforts from home or make something like a familiar recipe for dinner. It can be tempting to completely reinvent yourself when you arrive at university, but don’t put pressure on yourself to give up everything you know and are comforted by. You can also make use of Togetherall which is an online support space you have access to 24 hours a day for free as long as you have an ed.ac.uk email address. There is lots of support for you at the University at the Chaplaincy, the Counselling service and through students lead support like Nightline. Homesickness can be easily brushed off, by people who aren’t currently feeling it, as something you need to tough your way through. You can start any of these things at any point in the year so don’t worry about missing your chance in welcome week. Join a society or volunteer, or look for a sports club that you might enjoy. The best way to make connections with people is to seek out activities that you like and enjoy. People with similar interests might not be on your floor in halls or in your tutorial, so seek them out. It’s ok to reinvent yourself at university but don’t reinvent yourself into a person who expects the impossible of yourself. You know yourself and how long it takes you to feel settled in new situations. Sometimes that homesickness manifests itself as someone being very sad and quiet and other times students seem exuberant and full of confidence, but they are actually feeling very alone. We see lots of homesick students in the Advice Place. Try not to look outwards for cues on how you should be doing. Some people settle into university (or seem to) in a matter of days and for others it takes longer to build connections. It doesn’t mean everything is now perfect but you feel part of a community at the university and confident being yourself. You start to feel more connected to your new life and confident in your friendships. Acceptance and integration - this is that feeling you have been waiting for.This stage can be particularly hard as you may now have been at university for a whole semester and feel that you should be fully settled in to your new life. You can be left feeling that you don’t quite fit in to either world anymore. Often students find that when they do return home things are not the same, they have changed, and routines at home are not the same either. Mental isolation – This stage can often be triggered by you returning home.Initial adjustment – This is the feeling you are starting to settle into your new routines and responsibilities, and friendships are becoming deeper and more comfortable.This feeling can often start in the weeks following the exciting beginning when old routines and support from home are suddenly missed. Cultural shock – you don’t have to move to another country to experience culture shock. You have moved into a new academic culture and may be facing the challenge of being much more self-sufficient on top of new academic pressures.It’s an exciting time when all your hard work has paid off and you are finally here. The honeymoon – this is typically in week one when you are surrounded by people who are in the same boat as you, open to making new friends and try new things.You may experience all of this or none of it, but it can help to understand you are on a journey that can end in acceptance and integration (i.e. settling happily in to your new life at university). Understand Where the Feeling is Coming FromĪlthough it is a different experience for all of us, there is a pattern of adjustment when you start life at university. Homesickness can be overwhelming and it can be a struggle to overcome it because we often feel guilty for feeling it at all, and it can occur at a time when we are dealing with all sorts of other challenges making it hard to identify. Some people have left a very close-knit group of friends or family at home or a beloved pet. It’s not about how far from home you are, it can often be about how far from home you feel. For some students, starting university can be a huge adjustment.
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